Hetalia Resumes and Job Fails
by RulerofAwesomeness
Summary: Ever wonder what the Hetalia characters would write down for their resumes if they applied for human jobs or college? Or how they would epically fail at certain jobs? Now taking requests.
1. Prussia

**A/N: Hey again, guys! Yeah, I'm starting another fan fiction even though I already have 'Our Little Family' to update. I'm not giving up on it; I just need a small side project so I have something short that I can update more often and to help me get past my lack of inspiration. Sometimes, I just blow off all my homework like "Screw it, I'd much rather write" but I have to keep my grades up and all -_-. So anyways, I represent to you PRUSSIA!**

Resume for Attending Hetalia Academy

_This portion is for academic purposes to allow Hetalia Academy professors to adjust to your needs._

**Last Name:**

Beilshmidt

**First Name:**

Gilbert

**Middle Name:**

Your mom

**Major:**

What is a 'major'? Well, I'm majorly AWESOME!

**What type of learner?** _E.g. visual, kinetic, hearing, etc._:

What kind of question is this?! I can see, feel, and hear just fine! Damn people making fun of the disabled. I know a certain little deaf Canadian who can beat all of your asses with his hockey stick!

**Academic interests:**

Actually, I was forced to come here against my will! My Opa and bruder dragged me here! I'm not really interested!

**Where did you previously train?**

Well, mein bruder and I usually train in the gym or in the backyard. I take pride in the fact that I can lift more than bruder!

**What courses have you previously taken?**

West and I set up obstacle courses in the backyard and we change it up every once in a while, so I've taken a LOT of courses.

**How have you benefitted your community?**

I hang around the mall and spread my awesomeness! I am _dripping_ with the stuff! My awesomeness rubs off onto other people who hang around me, how much more beneficial can you get?!

**What do you hope to accomplish this year in Hetalia Academy?**

I don't know. Maybe keep the yearly tradition of getting kicked out of school going. I couldn't bear to break my five year streak.

**What do you want to be when you grow up?**

A stripper. They make good money.

**Do you believe that you will succeed in your career at Hetalia Academy?**

HELLZ YEAH! You have no idea how much people will pay to even be in the same room as the awesome me!

_This portion will help the Hetalia Academy get to know you as a person better._

**What hobbies to you have?**

Video gaming, messing with people, pulling pranks, being freaking AWESOME!

**What is your favorite color?**

Prussian blue cuz Prussia is AWESOME! Or red because it matches the color of my awesome eyes!

**What nationality are you?**

Didn't you see the above answer? I'm Prussian, duh! Don't believe what my Opa and bruder tell you. Prussian is awesomer than German.

**Who is your idol?**

ME!

**What is your high school stereotype?**

I can only be labeled as 'The Most Awesome Person to Ever Live'

**What kind of music do you prefer to listen to?**

Heavy metal, German Rock, I can also play the electric guitar!

**Thank you for taking the time to fill out this resume. Have a good day!**

Yeah whatever. Later losers!

**A/N: I know y'all would looove to see Prussia as a stripper ;). Anyways, I'm going to be taking requests, just PM me the character you want and what kind of resume (job, college, dating site, etc). Until next time I have time to update!**


	2. Canada

**A/N: I noticed some people wondering why I made Canada deaf. It just seems fitting, all he would hear is silence and being the shy adorableness that is Canada, he is quiet too. So here is Canada's resume!**

**Job Resume**

_Advice Columnist_

**Last Name:**

Williams

**First Name:**

Matthew

**Why are you applying for this job?**

I need money, and I often give good advice.

**Previous experience**:

When my friends are stressed, they rant to me. Well, it's more like they rant out loud and don't even realize that I'm still in the room. I give them my advice after I calm them down and convince them that I am not a ghost or body less voice. I also wrote for the school newspaper in high school.

**Qualifications:**

I have a clean record (except for that one time I beat someone up with my hockey stick but he was verbally attacking me so it was out of defense!). I'm deaf but all of these questions will be in writing and I can read lips pretty well.

**What makes you stand out among the other job applicants?**

I'm very quiet which results in me being more of an observer. I can observe people and analyze their problems. I also know fluent Canadian-French.

**Previous education:**

I averaged a B in high school. My teachers would print out notes for me because of my disability (though they often forgot to hand it to me) but I still took individual notes. None of my teachers really noticed me, but I stayed in class even though that was the perfect chance to just skip, so that proves that I am hard working. I did exceptionally well in English and Psychology.

**Interests:**

Making pancakes, adopting and caring for endangered animals (I currently have a young polar bear under my care which is another reason I need this job. Polar bears eat A LOT!)

**How have you benefited your community?**

I volunteer at the pound, participate in community projects and little things like open doors for strangers and help old ladies cross the street (I'm being serious!).

**Letter of Recommendation**

Dear Job-givers,

Hello! I'm Feliks Łukasiewicz, a friend and sort of co-worker with Matthew. He was totally bugging me to write this letter thingy for him because he plans ahead like that.

Anyways, he worked on the school newspaper with me back in high school (ugh, that makes me sound like really old). He wrote the advice column and helped me with the gossip section. A quiet guy like him is totally useful because he can slip into gossip circles like some sort of spy! The fact that he's deaf doesn't even faze him! I didn't even realize he was deaf until I made him watch an episode of My Little Pony with me. I don't know why he doesn't apply for the gossip corner. He said he would much rather help people with their problems than spread their problems, but whatever y'know? I guess that earns him niceness points or something like that.

Oh, I'm getting off topic! Anyways, he is a hard worker, thinks through everything, gives great advice, is the sweetest little fellah ever and would never try to hurt someone. He is perfect for fixing people's problems and junk. So hire him or else I will sic my pony army on you!

Lots of love,

Feliks Łukasiewicz

**A/N: I don't think this is up to par in terms of humor but I needed to write one for Canada before I forgot him (no joke intended XD). **

**I've noticed that a lot of people write Canada as comically invisible. He's perfectly visible, just not very noticeable. I'm partially Canada as in I am really quiet in class and teachers forget me a lot. I was absent once because I was sick and only 3 out of my 7 teachers counted me absent. (I don't know how everyone else does attendance but I go to a high school with over 4,000 students. Our teachers just count everyone present and point out who is absent). **

**Please request me a character through PM or review! **


	3. Romano

**A/N: Requested by Guest IrishMaid (who has some pretty creative ideas, by the way). I know this update is far too quick for a procrastinator like me, but this idea was really awesome and I just had to write it as soon as possible. Please enjoy!**

"Stupid Tomato Bastard. How can he forget his own lunch?" Romano mumbled as he was walking to Antonio's workplace, a computer service center. He reached into the red lunch bag decorated with tomatoes, "Oh well, it's not like he's going to miss a few of his tomatoes going missing."

Romano reached the building and looked around for Antonio with a confused expression. Then he was greeted by a stressed manager who led Romano to an empty office with only a telephone, a headset, a desk, and a chair occupying it.

"Oh good! You must have seen the help wanted sign! Okay, we do our resumes and qualifications a bit differently than normal. We don't care about your criminal record or your education, as long as you can help just one person within the day, the job is yours. Good luck!" the manager sped through his explanation and rushed out of the room, promptly slamming the door shut behind him.

"What the fuck? Hey! I'm not here for a job!" Romano yelled. He tried to open the door but it seemed stuck. "Open dammit!" He shouted at the door before kicking it.

Romano ate the rest of the tomatoes in the lunch bag, partially out of frustration and partially out of payback at Antonio for putting Romano in this situation. It serves him right! The only sound in the room was Romano's loud munching.

Then the telephone started ringing. Romano tried to ignore it but the noise annoyed him so he picked up the telephone.

"What!" Romano rudely yelled into the mouth piece of the telephone. He didn't hear any response. Romano warily eyed the headset before placing it on his head. Then he tried testing it out.

"Hello?"

"Hi, my computer keeps acting up. It keeps freezing and –" the voice of an old woman complained.

"Look, I don't give a damn. So leave me alone and don't call back!" Romano slammed the phone back in its cradle. Before he could take the headset off, the phone started ringing again and the headset sent beeping noises into his ears. Romano groaned and picked up the phone.

"Hello, my computer won't downlo –"

"Shut up and go ask someone who cares!" Romano yelled before slamming the phone down again. The phone rang again.

"Hey, my computer seems to be broken. It's spazzing out and keeps glitching."

"Well, why don't you just BUY A NEW ONE?!" Romano hung up, and this process repeated. Someone would call about their computer, and Romano would rudely cut them off and hang up.

"Hi, my computer won't let me upload this software."

"Fuck off, I'm on break" Hang up, phone rings.

"My computer randomly shuts down on me."

"Yeah so? Am I supposed to care?" Hang up, phone rings.

"I can't move files on my desktop."

"It's easy. You pick the fucking file up with your hands and turn your body to drop it to where you want it to go. Toddlers can do this!" Hang up, phone rings.

"My computer won't turn on."

"Have you tried pressing the ON button?"

And one final time, the phone rings.

"Hello, computer services, how may I help you?" Romano said sarcastically into the headset.

"Oh hello! I called earlier but some rude fellow answered, swore at me, and then hung up. The nerve! Vermin like that must be fired and disposed of. I hope you find the culprit and he gets his punishment." Romano blushed angrily, "Anyways, my computer keeps freezing up and takes forever to upload a single page."

Romano took this as his chance to mess around with the complaining old lady.

"Well, what have you tried before?" Romano replied in a falsetto voice.

"My grandchildren have tried to fix it with their newfangled technology and programs but it doesn't help at all."

"How about you try this? Turn on the computer."

"Okay, it's on."

"Now get a cup of water."

"Um, okay." There was a pause, "I have the water."

"Now throw it onto the computer."

"W-what? I'm not sure that is quite right."

"I _am_ the expert in computers that you called to help you. And nothing else has worked, right?"

"Okay, I see your point." A faint splashing noise could be heard through Romano's headset.

"Oh Dear! My computer is on FIRE!"

"Hah! Take that, bitch! That's what you get for calling me vermin!" Romano cackled loudly and hung up.

Suddenly, the door burst open and an enraged manager marched into the room and pointed at Romano.

"YOU! I have had 6 complaints and 1 _hospital bill_ because of you! Get out!"

Romano was roughly ushered out by two security guards. Romano found Antonio leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

"You bastard! That was hell! And what took you so long to come and get me? You should have noticed that something was wrong when I didn't arrive with your fucking lunch!" Romano's face exploded an angry red.

"Romano, as cute as you look in that shade of tomato red, you ate all of my tomatoes. I'd say that was a fair punishment."

"Fuck you."

**A/N: I couldn't do a normal resume because that just doesn't catch the Romano-ness of the story. Anyways, please review or PM me any requests! And tell me how I did!**


	4. America

**A/N: Hello people! It's been a while, but y'all should expect this kind of procrastination from me XD. Anyways, I've had a bunch of requests for America. And because I feel like being nice, I'm going to give y'all a DOUBLE DOSE of America! Have fun!**

**I noticed that I forgot to put this in the other chapter but would any of you REALLY think that I own Hetalia? ;) I don't own Hetalia or McDonalds!**

**Resume for Attending Hetalia Academy**

_This portion is for academic purposes to allow Hetalia Academy professors to adjust to your needs._

**Last Name:**

Jones

**First Name:**

Alfred

**Middle Name:**

Freedom

**Major:**

Majorly heroic and stuff!

**What type of learner?** _E.g. visual, kinetic, hearing, etc._:

I guess kinetic because I always have to be moving. Just sitting still in this chair is torture!

**Academic interests:**

U.S History is the best!

**Where did you previously train?**

At, um, a school?

**What courses have you previously taken?**

History and Politics

**How have you benefited your community?**

Oh I help people all the time! Like walk old ladies across streets, climb trees to get kittens down (even if I broke my arm a few times from doing that), I saved this tall guy in a scarf from some knife wielding maniac but he tried to 'become one' with me as a reward. A real hero doesn't take rewards! But a hamburger every once in a while doesn't hurt XD.

**What do you hope to accomplish this year in Hetalia Academy?**

Good grades and hopefully get a degree in Heroism. That's a real thing, right? Everyone tells me that it's not, but I've been working on it for _years_.

**What do you want to be when you grow up?**

Well, I want to be a hero. Hey, do you know if anyone sells super powers? If not, that's fine; I can lift a car anyways. *subconsciously flexes arm muscles*. And on the side, I can be Alfred F. Jones, President of the United States, leading the country to prosperity and justice!

**Do you believe that you will succeed in your career at Hetalia Academy?**

Of course! Heroes can't afford to fail!

_This portion will help the Hetalia Academy get to know you as a person better._

**What hobbies do you have?**

Eating, playing video games, reading comics, helping people

**What is your favorite color?**

Red, White, and Blue!

**What nationality are you?**

I am proud to be an American!

**Who is your idol?**

Captain America!

**What is your high school stereotype?**

I don't do labels. But I guess I would be a nerd or geek. But I can punch harder than and bully who tries to be mean to me or anyone else so those bullies better watch out! A new hero is in town!

**What kind of music do you prefer to listen to?**

Rap, country, pop, it really just depends on how I'm feeling. Rap for when I work out or get pumped up. Country for when I want to relax or go to a hoedown. Pop for when I want to PAAARTAAAY!

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this resume. Have a good day!

…

**Job Resume**

_McDonald's__ Employee_

**Last Name:**

Jones

**First Name:**

Alfred (do I really need to do this? I'm a regular, and all of you know me by name!)

**Why are you applying for this job?**

I need money to support my 'other job'. I recently bought a fitted mask, some rope for tying up bad guys, and a bunch of new shirts because I keep ripping all of mine open Superman-style when people need my help.

**Previous experience?**

I can recite the McDonald's menu and prices by heart!

**Qualifications:**

I have no criminal record except for that one time I had been charged of assault because I thought that a man was stealing some lady's purse and she was screaming. It turns out that the man was the lady's husband, and he was trying to stop her from going on an insane shopping spree. But it turned out okay for me because my intentions were good!

**What makes you stand out among other job applicants?**

This McDonalds is practically my second home! I spend any extra time I have here! And I'm probably responsible for half of your paycheck!

**Previous education:**

I am attending Hetalia Academy, and in high school, I had decent grades.

**Interests:**

Eating, playing video games, reading comic books, being a HERO.

**How have you benefited your community?**

I'm a HERO! I save innocent citizens from crime and stuff! Well, I haven't actually captured a real bad guy but he'll come one day! And I'll be ready! I'm so prepared that I wear my superhero suit underneath my clothes at all times!

**A/N: I don't think this chapter is as good as the other ones. Mostly because I can't seem to get America's character down. And I can't relate because I'm just not the hero type, clearly. I absolutely HAD to add that XD! Anyways, shoot me a review to tell me how I did and request a character via PM or review! Later bruhs!**


End file.
